Fear list

Went on a long morning walk. About 12 km. Wanted to see if my legs and back were in good shape. Would they hold up when we finally do the tour du mont blanc? A part of me did continual checks. Ah! a slight pain here. What is this pull on the left of the right knee? Is this good pain or bad pain ( a good pain is something that stays till the stretched muscle builds up, a bad pain aggravates and needs to be cured)? All this, till a friend remarked how she is scared of a physical disability - like losing an arm or eyesight. To each, his own fear.

Fear, metaphorically, is like a beast and our interaction with it is referred to an almost warlike situation. We use the words "conquer" ,"overcome" or "defeat" when talking about it. It is treated as something big and massive. An attack with the power to disable.

But what if I don't fight this war? What if I just remain still, maybe even accept it?

Imagine that what I am afraid of does happen. And all of a sudden, most of the fears get placed in their proper place.

Yes, I do have a knee injury on the trek. Ok, now what is the worst that can happen?Hmmm..I would have to trudge till the next town and take the bus. Bad, but I can live with that. Or, what if my hard disk crashes and I lose all the data on my laptop. I have to spend 10K and start again from the pieces I have. I can live with that too...and so on.

I am not saying that everything I am afraid of, is small and minor. Losing a leg in an accident is fearful. Or losing a loved one. What I am saying is that perhaps if I can say what things I am afraid of and kind of imagine that they happen, only the really important ones remain and I stop reacting to everything which can go wrong. It calms me down. It helps me see farther. I realize that the small ones don't even need to be fought. They lose their sap and don't fight me either. Try it.